Just stop worrying: How to take control of worry

We all do it and I'm here to tell you its completely normal! Whether it's a low hum in the background or a full-blown internal storm, worry has a way of creeping in—late at night, during a quiet commute, or in the middle of something that should be joyful. The brain is just doing its job and alerting you to a threat you need to prepare for (but sometimes this can be a false alarm).

Worry is a strange thing. It feels like action, like a form of control. We think that if we worry enough about something—money, health, relationships, the future—we’re somehow guarding ourselves against bad outcomes. But most of the time, worry doesn’t protect us. It paralyses us.

The (False) Promise of Control

Worry often comes from a good place: the desire to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. But life rarely obeys our blueprints. You can map out every step of the journey and still end up somewhere completely unexpected. That’s not failure—that’s just life being life.

The hard truth is, control is often an illusion. And worry? It’s the toll we pay for chasing that illusion.

What Worry Costs Us

Worry doesn’t just steal our peace—it can also rob us of time, sleep, creativity, and connection. Think of how many beautiful moments have been overshadowed by anxious thoughts about things that might happen, but never do.

What to Do Instead

If we can’t just shut worry off (and let’s be honest, most of us can’t), what can we do?

Here are a few ideas:

• Name it: Sometimes just acknowledging the worry helps. Say it out loud or write it down. Give it shape. It’s easier to deal with something once it’s not just a shadow in the back of your mind.

• Set a timer: Give yourself 20 minutes to worry about everything. Sounds bizarre right? What this does though is it gives you back your control rather than allowing the worry to control you. Write it down, pace around, vent to a friend. But once the timer’s up, set it aside and move on. The worry will still pop up (the brain is just doing its job thats all). Just acknowledge that its there, remind yourself that you have already addressed it and get on with your day even if the thought continues to be there.

• Come back to now: Worry lives in the future. Peace lives in the present. What’s true right now? Is there food in front of you? A breath in your lungs? A friend who’ll answer your text? Start there.

• Get curious: Instead of spiralling into "what ifs," ask yourself am I worrying as a way to prepare, problem solve or prevent something bad from happening? Where did this belief come from? Is it based on something that has happened before or based on your worst fears?

• Talk about it: Worry loves silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is speak it aloud—to a friend, a therapist, or even yourself. Let it breathe.

A Gentle Reminder

You are allowed to rest even when things are uncertain. You are allowed to have joy even when the future feels shaky. Worry doesn’t make you more prepared—it just makes you more tired.

Life will always have unknowns. But you’ve made it through hard things before. You’ve figured things out. You’ve adapted, adjusted, and overcome. You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. You just need to take the next right step.

And maybe—for today—that step is simply setting your worry down, even if just for a little while.