Social Anxiety is condition that can significantly impact daily life. People with social anxiety experience intense fear or discomfort in social situations, often worrying about being judged, embarrassed, or rejected. Signs of social anxiety can include;

• Fear of speaking in front of others

• Avoidance of social situations or group activities

• Excessive worry about what others think

• Physical symptoms such as sweating, shaking, blushing, or a racing heart

• Difficulty making eye contact or starting conversations

This anxiety isn't just occasional or situational; it can interfere with work, school, relationships, and even everyday activities like eating in public or making phone calls.

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Social anxiety can also appear in conjunction with other difficulties such as ADHD, Autism, Low self esteem, Generalised Anxiety Disorder (or worry) and depression. This can look like;

• Missing social cues

• Finding it hard to follow conversations due to processing style and sensory overload

• Interrupting others (often because your worried you will forget what you are going to say or it feeling impulsive). 

• Distracted during conversation or appearing rude or uninterested

• Masking which adds to your anxiety or awkwardness 

• Struggling with timing  and taking turns.

What Causes Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety can develop from a combination of factors, including:​

• Environment: Early experiences of bullying, criticism, or social rejection can play a role. This commonly seen with people who are neurodivergent but also people who aren't. School tends to be the place when it starts to develop for most people I have worked with. Perhaps we are criticised for being 'different'.

• It can also develop as a result of not having the opportunity to develop social skills. Maybe you weren't allowed to socialise, you stayed inside alot, cared for a loved one so had limited opportunity to develop those skills. 

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Shame is just one of the emotions that shows up for people that are socially anxious but its a powerful one and significantly impacts peoples ability to do the thing that will build confidence..to socialise. 

Shame doesn’t start in us. It’s something we learn—often in childhood, through trauma, neglect, or unmet emotional needs.
When our feelings were dismissed, when love felt conditional, when we had to perform to feel safe… shame took root. It’s not your fault you carry it.
But you can unlearn it.

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What maintains social anxiety?

These are just some of the things that maintain how we feel;

• Self focus of attention i.e. internally focused on our beliefs/thoughts or actions and how we are coming across to others.

• Beliefs about self and or how others perceive us i.e. I look sweaty this means people think I am dirty.

• Safety behaviours this are behaviours we use/do to cope with how we feel such as avoidance, wearing a coat in hot weather to hide the sweat patches (which will probably make us more sweaty and more anxious). 

When to get support

If social anxiety is preventing you from living your life the way you want, know that you're not alone—and help is available. Effective treatments include:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

• Support groups and social skills training

With the right support, many people learn to manage their symptoms and build confidence in social situations.

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Social anxiety isn’t just shyness — it’s overthinking every word, replaying every interaction, and fearing judgment even in silence. 

If you feel this resonates with you, please get in touch. I also have experience working with people who do have ADHD and/or are Autistic (with or without diagnosis) and will adapt sessions to meet you needs.

Although I cant not offer diagnosis, I can work with the factors that are maintaining how you feel and you do not need a diagnosis for this. 

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Clark, D. M., & Wells, A. (1995). A cognitive model of social phobia. Social phobia: Diagnosis, assessment, and treatment, 69-93.

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